Thursday, June 04, 2009

Is that so hard 2 understand my feelings?


Well, my mood its totally out yesterday night. I have argument with family just because a small matters. It's was about the car park that i used 2 park when i back from work. I getting pissed of with my lame bro and it's totally unreasonable at all.

I'm trying to cool myself, n trying be patient all the time but he totally over with his lame action. This happen many times, as he didn't respect me as big sis in family.. now he pijak ontop of my head and he is challenging my patient. I keep on sabar n sabar with his attitude, but kesabaran got a limit and he making my volcano burst up.

Wtf.. here come my mom, she is trying 2 cool between my bro n me. But too bad the she is using the wrong way 2 cool both of us. Instead of cooling she make everything in a mess n add fire into it. I was so upset with her attitude, and i cry until non-stop the whole night. I'm so depress + no mood to eat n no mood 2 entertaint ppl. After a big war with family, i just couldn't be bother shutting door and i hide in my room turn on my pc and start mapling.

Worst part is early this morning, my mom broke the glass and she ruins the whole family mood. She bringing up issue war again 2 my 3rd sis at the end my 3rd sis kena fire nicely by my mom. Y she early in the morning want mess up everything? Can't she just leave us alone quietly and have a peaceful morning?

I'm very dissapointed with her, yet she can put the blame on me for blaming her not fair and dunno how to cool down the war. Seriously, when my bro making noise in house, my mom couldn't even be bother 2 correct his mistake, well for myself when i make noise, she said i totally unreasonable & inmature. Wtf.. what is wrong with her?

I'm wondering n thinking which part i'm doing wrongly now? Well, those ppl who know me well, i seldom get angry.. but this is totally over n beyond my limit. She said i cry for no reason coz of argument with my little bro. Come on, i'm only human in this earth, i have feelings too. I cry becoz my family dosn't understand my feelings at all. I cry coz they're unreasonable also at the same i'm trying express my sadness that stored inside my heart.

I believe in myself, the only thing is there is someone out there who understand my feelings that is God, i only can cry in front God.. God.. plz help me.. I will always pray to u. God plz proof me that i'm correct in this matter. Sighs~~ I hope my mood will be getting better soon